Can you please stop doing that?

The one thing I want to have in a close friendship is the ability to ask your friend to stop doing something because you don't like it. Your friend agrees or not; whether the thing is still done or not is a different issue. Just the fact that you can say is something valuable. I am not sure how willing I come across regarding this issue.

Abiding by what one is asking is a different issue since, one is not always 'right' or sometimes there may not be a 'right' or 'wrong'. So, it may not be clear which way should the outcome be.

If I don't like something about a close friend, I have this habit of conveying that. But I try to do it only once and only to those I think are close to me. If they don't agree or don't follow, its upto them. But it still hurts when they do it again and again.

I recently had 2 instances with 2 of my close friends (and I definitely think, they also consider me as a close friend) in the last few months. I would not go into the details but they used particular language which I did not like. They did not use it against me, but infact that was part of the issue. I don't mind they saying anything to me or anything in private. But this was on a public forum. And even then, nobody would have given a damn about it, for it is perfectly common to use that language these days.

I could not talk to both of them face to face about the issue, for somewhere within, I felt guilty of trying to impose my own will. So, I talked to them online over this. I am amazed how things come out so easily when it is not face to face. The great thing was that my friends understood me and atleast listened to what I had to say instead of becoming defensive. They have not repeated that stuff and I am proud of them.

I have not taken any promises for I have experienced the agony of a friend promising and then backing out without even remembering that we had such a pact. So, I have just requested them and I hope that it would work.