Friday, December 26, 2008

To say or not to say

I have written before about the reasons for writing blogs. One always has to remember that it could be read by anyone. I have found instances when people write something and delete that post. It might be the case, which the person wanted to write a better post. But sometimes this is because one somehow gets the feeling that it would not be good if the post remains there.

My reading list on the web can be seen in the left sidebar. I use Google Reader to get the posts from these sites as soon as the sites are updated. It happens that sometimes I read the post within the Reader itself and sometimes use the link to go the site to read it where it is written.

Recently, I got a post from one of the blogs that I read in my Reader. It was clear that the writer was in a sorry state of mind and wanted to share his feelings. Though I am not sure if he did find some other outlet for his emotions, he definitely chose to put them on his blog. I thought that the minimum I can do is to leave a comment on the post and so thought of following the link.

My browser showed me a page that said that the post did not exist. I thought that it might be a mistake. I again clicked the link in my Reader and again got to the same page. It became clear that the author chose to remove the post. I am aware that sometimes people write things imagining stuff and it might not portray reality. But the fact that the post was removed confirmed that it was for real.

The dilemma I faced was whether – to send the author an email mentioning the post and writing what I planned to leave as a comment – or just not do anything for clearly the author did not want anyone to read his stuff. I chose the latter.

Hope things become better at the author’s end.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

My Dorm

I wrote about my dorm (where I am spending my 2 years of graduation) as part of something, a while back. Posting here what I wrote ... a bit edited though.

***

Dorm is THE best thing which could have happened to me here. Initially, it felt that the dorm thing is may be over-hyped. But as time passed, the truth was before my eyes. It may sound as if I am not being rational here (or stupid, immature), but I am ready to sacrifice anything within my capacity at IIMA for staying in the dorm.

... I was so looking forward to spending next year with my dorm mates – old and new. With the heavy academic load, I hadn’t had enough time to interact with them (or so I feel).

It was only now that we had started playing cricket. Only now that we had started eating Maggi in the night. Only now that we watched cricket matches together. Only now that we joked around. Only now … only now. My dorm mates always took care of me. They woke me up, otherwise I would have missed so many classes and sometimes quizzes. We went to the classes in the morning together. We always went together for breakfast, lunch, snacks, dinner to the mess. We went for dinner outside together. My dorm mates always took me along. I know if they would have not asked, I would have missed meals so many times, for going alone for meals is pathetic.

So, if you want to make the dorm culture responsible for my good health, for me attending classes, for me having regular meals, for me enjoying my stay at this place and want to punish me for this ...

I will tell you what I did not like about this culture. The fact that people shared my joys and sorrows. The fact that I could depend on them. The fact that I could ask for help (in acads or whatever). The fact that when I felt alone, I was able to go to someone in my dorm and talk to him and get away with all the depressing feelings I had. The aspect that it felt as family. Come on, who requires all this. People are right when they think that this can be done away with.

The PGP-2s (tuchchas) were so helpful, so caring; just cannot describe. Be it acads or any other stuff, they guided us like no one else would do. The best part was that we do not have anything to offer them. And they know that. Still they went out of their way to do things for us. Many a times they thought about us more than we did about ourselves. I will like to mention one event here. Those who went on exchange among the PGP2s called every single of us, PGP1s to say all the best from wherever in the world they were. What was the need for them to do this? What were we offering them that they had to do this?

Whenever seniors from previous batches come to Ahmedabad, they come to their dorms and take every current dorm resident for a meal at some good place. These seniors are meeting all the residents for the first time and probably for the last time in their lives. Why would anyone take spend time, energy, money on such people? They still identify with the residents. What makes them do so?

All my arguments may look as if coming from an emotional state of mind. Partly it is correct. But I sincerely believe that I have never been so rational before as I am now, while writing this. I have kept this anonymous, but I guess it would be pretty revealing (sorry, could not help it).

An Ethical Dilemma

In my second term during graduation, in one particular course, everyone in the class was asked to write one Ethical Dilemma that each of us had sometime during our lifetimes. We had to mail these to the Professor and could ask him to not disclose / mention it in class. Just sharing mine.

***
I know that the dilemma I am going to write here is sort of cliché. However, this is something I always remember and have learnt from.

During my 10th standard board exams, some students from my class told me that they would get the board papers a few hours in advance. In short, they said that they had sources through which they can source the papers. Initially, I did not believe them. However, they were somehow able to convince me, though they did not have to try hard for that. They also said that I too can get the paper and we can share the expense of getting the paper among ourselves.

As every family does, my family has taught me to stay as far away from such activities as possible. I have also been told by my parents to tell them everything. They say that even if you do anything that is ‘wrong’, just let them know. I contemplated whether to tell them or not about this offer. Somehow, I came to the conclusion that it is better to tell them rather than they getting to know afterwards.

They were of the opinion that I should not get into such things. It is not about the money. They said that these things more often than not end up wasting a person’s time. Instead of concentrating on studies, one tries hard to get the leaked papers. They also said that there would be distinct copies of so-called leaked papers floating around the day before the exam and so the reliability is also absent.

I was adamant at getting the papers even if that meant spending a few bucks and a few hours. So, I told one of my friends that I was in for the papers and he informed me that I would get the paper at 10p.m. the previous night (a good 13 hours before the exam).

The day before the exam, I found myself relying much on this paper and in the process forgetting to put in my required bit of studies. My parents were concerned about this lack of effort much more than I was. As time progressed, at one hand I was getting impatient about getting the papers, while on the other hand, I started thinking if this is the right thing to do. Why I started thinking in such a fashion is not clear even to myself. I suppose the values imbibed in me came to the fore. As the clock approached 10p.m., I got more and more convinced that this was not the right thing to do. I discussed this with my parents and they said that they had left this on me for they cannot always force their will on me.

So, as my friend called around 10:30 to tell me what the questions were, it became quite clear that I would not be able to do this. I told my friend that I do not require the questions and that the payment I had promised would be honored in any case.

The next day, after the exams, when I met my friends I came to know that only a few of the questions from the apparently leaked paper had come in the actual exam.