Attending marriages

I have reached an age at which, every now and then, you hear of a friend getting married. Most of these are 1-2 years older than me, but this indicates that most of my friends would be married (say) in the next 2 years or so. As such, there would be a lot of weddings and hopefully many invitations.

The mode of communication for invitations (in general) have changed to mostly being online (atleast for the events directly related to people around my age). Though this is a faster mode of communication and cheaper, I believe it takes out the personal touch. You can add hundreds of people to your 'Cc' or 'Bcc' list in one email, write a generic mail inviting them and attach the invitation card. And that is about it.

Previously, for invitational purposes, the invitation card had to be sent to each address. And when phones became more common, the cards had to be followed by phone calls. The trend became that people who you seriously wanted to invite were given a card + 1-2 phone calls. And others had to take the hint if they just received a card and no phone call. If the latter people came then, they were most welcome and would be treated well.

I think the hard copy of the invitation card has been replaced by the soft copy mentioned above. Whenever I get such a mail, I look at the 'To' field. If my email id is there, it means it has been sent to me only. Generally, that is not the case. So, I look at the 'Cc' field. Generally, that field is empty. So, it must be the case that people would have been Bcced. And even if there had been a few names in the Bcc list, it gives the impression that there would be at at least few tens if not a hundred. The mail usually says that consider this as a personal invitation, but I am not sure how many people on the list do think that way. I would say, it would have been better if the people were Cced, so that the recipients at least knew who all have they been associated with.

Unless there is a personal phone call or some kind of personal invitation (even if it is specially talking on some IM and inviting), it does not become an event that you have to go to. I might go, especially if it is within the city I am in. But traveling to some other place especially for it might not happen.

I understand that there could be time pressures as an event like marriage comes near and everything has to be arranged. I am alright with being in the Cc or Bcc list and knowing the kind of invitation I am getting. But expecting it to be considered a personal invitation might be a little too stretched. I have to remember this when there is an event in my family, for the easier way out could then seem to be relying on these Ccs and Bccs.

All the time in the world

A lot of time that can be put to good use gets wasted. This has always been the case, but lately I have experienced more of this.

I am in the middle of an atleast 3 month break between end of studies and joining a company. In these 3 months, there is mostly no agenda at hand. There are some important personal things that have to be done, but those cannot start before the professional job begins. So, I have to constantly search for things to do. I am not saying that there should have been no break at all, but for me personally, 1 month break is more than enough for everything. The preparations for starting at the job can be done in that time and the relaxation as well as all other things.

I tried finding an internship, but nothing came across that seemed suitable. I am sure there would have been opportunities for such an internship that would have been mutually agreeable. I also think that there might be atleast a few people like myself who have 2-3 month gaps due to various reasons. And that they would want to put it to some productive use. But I failed to find a forum where mapping of such opportunities and seekers is done. This leads to a lot of time being whiled away when both work is available and people are willing.

Another instance is the story of one of my friends. He was my batchmate at my undergrad. Now, he is working in a job that is far under-utilizing him. He spends only 7 hours or so in the office, 5 days a week and that includes the 1 hour daily use of office gym, in addition to having lunch, snacks etc. He has been working here for a few years and things have gotten from bad to worse, with the time he spends in office decreasing every time I ask him about it.

Here, I guess, there is a combination of lacking on both sides - the company not trying to find the true potential and give work accordingly, and my friend not actively pursuing newer opportunities / assignments and remaining happy with the lifestyle. In my opinion, again a huge waste of precious time.