Monday, December 31, 2007

Ravishing


I have been eating a lot lately. This I am saying as compared to what I used to eat only some time back. So, in my first term, I used to have a “normal” diet. And by normal I mean, similar to what people here have on an average. But now I am definitely above the average. I believe that there come phases in your life such as these. Phases in which you sleep a lot or else you can do on very little sleep, others in which you eat a lot, and some others where things happened rather differently.

Here at my institute, I have a common mess for all students. In the morning, just before the first class, there is hardly enough time to grab something. So, I generally take two bread slices and a cup of tea and proceed towards the class. But having said that I eat a lot, you don’t think I would be satisfied with that kind of breakfast. So, as soon as the first class gets over, I and some 15 others of our class run to the mess to have our remaining share (many of these have not had anything since morning).

My friends keep teasing me about how much I eat. They say that I eat breakfast thrice. Just after waking up I run to the mess, according to them. Then after having my first helping I go back to my room to do my daily chores. Then have my second helping just before class and finally the third helping after the first class. The 15 other people that I talked about before are those which regularly use the first break for their breakfast. This number grows or diminishes depending on the time the first lecture gets over and the menu in the mess.

There was a time when both my neighbours (in the class) used to go to the mess and I did not, even though they asked me to come almost daily. They would say just come once and I would think of the distance to travel and wonder why these people went. And here I am. One of the things I enjoy in my daily schedule is that run to the mess after the first class. Yes, I do actually run and much more than the breakfast that is the real fun. I would say that a person has to go for the breakfast after the first class only once and then he would never look back.

The anticipation and the excitement builds as the class is about to end. As soon as the last words are spoken, some 10 of us (who have already been at the edge of their chairs) stand up and start moving (The others are more civilized and slowly follow). Some of these had been asleep all time long and had asked their neighbours to wake them just 2 minutes before the class is to end, for they did not want to lose any of the precious seconds. The experience for me is so good that when we do not have the first lecture and you have enough time to eat your breakfast, it does not feel complete or as much satiating.

So, on days when I know that the first class will be stretched and there would not be enough time to go to the mess, I do my breakfast early. But everyone is cursing the reason for the delay because it either made them wake up early or they had to miss their breakfast entirely. But my reason for cursing is that it has denied me of that joy or experience which I so like.

Probably, I am trying to find happiness in small little things. But one thing I realize is that you never know what will make you happy. I remember one of our lecturers telling us that people find happiness in the smallest of things, and we students have become such that unless we get that insanely paying job, we won’t shed a smile.

Monday, December 10, 2007

That one thing

Many a times it happens that, you might do all your daily work and whatever is expected of you, but there is that one thing which happens daily which you like the most. You wait for it the whole of 24 hrs; do all other things just so that you might reach that point in the day when that event happens. I am not sure how many of you have experienced this feeling but it seems to be something good.

That event may be playing something, doing voluntary work or just a plain walk. But that is something you like to do so much that the work to be done for the other time of the day looks bearable. Just the expectation of the event happening can be a big motivator. So, sometimes even if the actual event does not happen, you get sad. But then you realize that you have to just wait for another 24 hours and it will again be your favorite time of the day. The build up to the event has already given you such pleasure that half your sadness is already compensated for.

Switching topics, why is that you want to do things which some people tell you to do? While at the same time, you are indifferent to some other people. This thing is even more prominent when the motive of the other person is your benefit. And in no apparent way the other person is going to benefit. So, if someone (say, one of your parents) says to take care of your health, you want to do that just for that person. Knowing that someone cares for you makes you feel that your life is worth something.

I have mentioned previously of visiting a particular place in my institute. Actually, I did that quite frequently in the initial months when I came here. I would say it helped me a lot. I am beginning to believe that I would not have to visit this place again.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Good and Bad times

It is said that it is easy to find people to share joy than to share sorrow. So, generally when we are in a neutral or happy mood, we are surrounded by a bunch of people. The size and constituents of the bunch may keep varying but you will almost always be able to find such a bunch. There are people who make you laugh, who accompany you in parties, who dance with you, sing along or generally hang out. In good times, you pick and choose people you want to be; those that make your experience the best.

But good times may not last for long. At the first stroke of sorrow, your accomplices support you at the start. But then two things happen: they start to taper off or you do not find yourself in a position to ask them to stay for long. At that instant, either you want to be alone or you want to be with someone with whom you can behave in any fashion and can expect whatever comes to your mind. This person would be willing to listen to you for hours together, would not mind any of your actions etc. So, in bad times, you again pick and choose but the choices may be too limited to be actually called one.

Firstly, it is very difficult to find such a person. If I think how many people belong to this category (apart from family), I can count them on my fingers. Sadly I am not even able to go to my second hand. But the amazing part is even though you have so few of them, you take them for granted. So, usually, when the going is good, you are not very much concerned about them. You consider these people as one of the many who you want to be with, if not below in your priority list. You forget what they have done for you and the fact that you would not have been in this position, had it not been for them.

Even after all this, the best part is, these people have not gone anywhere. So, the next time you are in grief, they are still there, ready as ever to do what they do best. If that was not enough, they are unconcerned to the core for what you did or things you should have done. They did not expect those things to happen anyways. I wonder what these people do to be like they are.